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The art of better arguments

This lesson explores how to improve conflict resolution skills through listening, vocabulary, grammar, and speaking practice. Learn strategies to transform disagreements into productive conversations.

B2 Practical English Psychology General Video
The art of better arguments
Photo by Vitaly Gariev / Unsplash

Summary

This ESL lesson for B2 English students focuses on the art of constructive arguments and effective conflict resolution. Using an engaging video and interactive exercises, students will learn strategies to navigate disagreements, understand different perspectives, and transform conflict into opportunities for mutual understanding.

The lesson covers key vocabulary related to conflict, practices the past simple passive for discussing past events, and encourages practical application through discussions and speaking activities. Designed to foster meaningful conversation, this material provides practical communication tools for managing disagreements effectively.

Activities

  • A warm-up discussion where students reflect on their feelings about conflict and productive arguments.
  • Video comprehension exercises to fill in gaps from a talk on effective conversation strategies.
  • A vocabulary matching task to define key terms from the video, such as "resolve," "nonnegotiable," and "adversary."
  • A grammar exercise focusing on the Past Simple Passive to describe actions in conflicts where the agent is less important.
  • Practice with idioms commonly used in English to describe feelings or situations related to conflict and communication, including "clear the air" and "see eye to eye."
  • Vocabulary in context exercises to reinforce the usage of newly learned terms.
  • A grammar practice section to rewrite active sentences into the Past Simple Passive.
  • Speaking practice activities to apply learned vocabulary, grammar, and conflict resolution strategies in discussions and group activities.
00:00 - I personally feel uncomfortable around conflict.
00:03 - Now, we're here today to find out how to argue.
00:06 - But conflict is useful.
00:08 The question is, how do you deal with conflict
00:10 the most effectively?
00:16 Here we go.
00:17 I am author of Negotiating the Nonnegotiable:
00:19 How to Resolve Your Most Emotionally-Charged Conflicts.
00:25 Have you found yourself in an argument
00:28 that felt so frustrating,
00:30 so at a core aggravating?
00:32 - That's the silliest opinion I've ever heard.
00:35 - It felt just nonnegotiable?
00:36 Well, congratulations, you're a human being.
00:39 We all experience conflict in our lives,
00:43 and seeing what's going on in our world today,
00:45 my hunch is you were probably having
00:47 at least one of these conflicts about politics.
00:50 Our country has fallen into what I believe is a tribal trap.
00:54 Anything that that other side says,
00:56 I shall not believe, I shall not give any credibility to,
01:00 and I'm gonna do everything I can to prove I'm right,
01:03 you're wrong, and to stifle you down
01:05 to raise me up.
01:06 The problem is not with the what,
01:09 what are we arguing about,
01:11 the problem is with the how.
01:12 - How should we argue?
01:15 - How can we be more effective?
01:17 And what I've found is that there are three big barriers
01:19 that we can actually overcome
01:21 to have more effective conversations.
01:23 The big things, one, identity, two, appreciation,
01:28 and three, affiliation.
01:30 Let's start with identity.
01:32 - Now, first of all, this is a hot issue.
01:35 - Why do we get so emotional in these conflict situations?
01:38 It often goes back to something deeper: identity.
01:41 What are the core values, the core beliefs
01:45 that are feeling threatened inside of you
01:47 as you're having that conversation with the other side?
01:50 The moment your identity gets hooked in these conflicts,
01:54 all of a sudden your emotions become
01:58 Boy, this is a wholly different conflict now.
02:00 It's now your pride.
02:01 Your sense of self is on the line.
02:04 You need to know who you are and what you stand for.
02:10 What are the values and beliefs
02:12 that are driving me to fight for this stance on this issue?
02:16 The more you understand who you are,
02:18 the more you can try to get your purpose met
02:20 and stay balanced, even when the other threatens
02:23 those core values and beliefs.
02:24 Each side wants to feel appreciated,
02:29 and yet the last thing they wanna do
02:31 is to appreciate the other side.
02:32 That's a problem.
02:34 - Listen and understand.
02:37 - When you're in the midst of the conflict, don't talk.
02:41 Take the first 10 minutes.
02:43 Consciously listen to the other side.
02:46 What's the value behind their perspective?
02:49 What's the logic, the rationale?
02:51 Why do they hold this perspective on
02:53 immigration or healthcare?
02:55 Once you truly understand and see
02:57 the value in their perspective,
02:59 let them know I hear where you're coming from,
03:01 and you know what?
03:02 That makes sense.
03:04 There is nothing more in the world that we like
03:06 than to feel appreciated.
03:08 Recognize your power to appreciate them.
03:14 Third, affiliation.
03:16 What's the emotional connection like
03:18 between you and the other side?
03:19 We typically approach these conflict situations
03:22 as me versus you.
03:23 My opinion on healthcare versus yours,
03:27 my party's perspectives on immigration versus yours.
03:30 That's just gonna leave the two of you
03:32 like rams butting heads.
03:34 - Find common ground.
03:39 - Turn that other person from an adversary into a partner,
03:43 so it's no longer me versus you,
03:45 but the two of us facing the same shared problem.
03:48 Ask the other person, "Look, what's your advice
03:51 "on how we can get as many of our interests met
03:53 "at the same time?"
03:54 Change the nature of your conversation.
03:57 Now, you put these three things into practice,
03:59 it can transform your relationships.
04:02 Imagine what would happen if we started a revolution,
04:06 but a positive revolution of greater understanding,
04:09 greater appreciation, greater affiliation,
04:12 how we could transform politics,
04:14 how we could transform our country
04:16 and ultimately our world.
04:17 I believe it's possible, but it starts
04:20 with each one of us.

Vocabulary focus

The vocabulary section introduces terms essential for discussing conflict and resolution. Key terms include "resolve," "nonnegotiable," "hunch," "stifle," "adversary," and "perspective." Students will learn to use these words to describe different aspects of arguments and communication effectively.

Grammar focus

This lesson concentrates on the Past Simple Passive. This grammatical structure is used to describe actions in arguments or conflicts where the person performing the action is unknown or less important than the action itself. Students will practice forming sentences using "was/were + past participle" to discuss past events related to conflict and its resolution.


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